he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
