I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
