I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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