i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
