There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
