oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
