so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
