It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
