I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
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