Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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