You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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