My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
