omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
