I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
