i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
