i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
