i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
