she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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