i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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