i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Do you have feelings for this penis?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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