I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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