I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
