im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
