You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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