At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so let's talk penis.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
