my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
