the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
