I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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