why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
