Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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