You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
