so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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