Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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