You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
there was a trapeze. enough said
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
