:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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