I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
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i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
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We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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