All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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