After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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