your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
