K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We have started to decorate penises.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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