He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
