his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
