I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
