dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
