I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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