But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
