wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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