what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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