Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
