"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
