I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
