I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
