i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I believe in your delicious
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
