Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
