I have demons in me.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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