So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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