ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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