i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
