that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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