They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
