just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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