A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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